


Tears and the taste of your skin

by ThatwasJustaDream



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-02 22:58:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8686666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/pseuds/ThatwasJustaDream
Summary: Does the world need another story with post-prison Mike suddenly broken up, breaking down and turning to Harvey? No? Well, have one anyway, if you'd like. Just a little pre-slash three-parter, written for a prompt-challenge that included the following words: Iris, Drunk, Hello, Loss, Jewelry.





	1. Chapter 1

Mike woke to a strong wave of 'where the hell am I?' but it only lasted a few seconds. This wasn't the first time he'd woken up in Harvey's guest room. It was, though, his first time waking up here and feeling like he'd been run over by a tanker truck full of vodka.

"Fuck, oh fuck oh...." he sat up, fire shooting through his veins from the base of his neck and around his head to his temples. "....fuck."

There was a single Advil tablet on the nightstand next to a huge glass of water. He took the first and chugged the second in a long series of gulps. Then he dropped the glass on the bed, head going to his hands.

Fragments of last night drifted in and out. Walking aimlessly around town. Hitting a bar, then hitting a dive bar. Scoring some pot and, against his own better judgment some coke along with it. Another bar, then some more walking. Not feeling the cold, but feeling his teeth chattering as the snow turned to sleet and the hour got late. 

Realizing he _had_ to go somewhere and that he had nowhere to...

_"Well, hello. For someone I seldom invite over... you turn up a lot. My very own bad penn..."_

_Harvey had stopped dead at the first good look he got of him. Mike knew it couldn't be pretty - his hair was frozen in spots, his face burning from the beer and shots and the cold. What little of his eyes weren't blood red would be black - pupils shot wide from the drugs, his irises thin blue lines._

_Probably the only reason Harvey hadn't noticed it sooner is that he'd seen Mike almost every kind of beat up lately. This was just one more; a self-inflicted wound, not his first._

_"_ _I jinxed it," Mike remembered saying._

_"Jinxed what?"_

_"I said I had a family and.... I jinxed it."_

_He remembered pulling his hand out of his pocket, Rachel's engagement ring part way down his own pinky._

_"Oh...no. Mike....."_

_Harvey had looked truly crushed for him - and why did that hurt, too?_  

Mike found he’d slept naked, and saw no signs of his own clothes - but a pair of sweats and a v-neck tee had been left for him over the foot of the bed.

He tugged them on slowly, his balance still off and hands shaky. He looked back at the nightstand; saw the ring lying at the far corner, well beyond the towel and washcloth also left for him. The ring clearly had been set out, too, in a spot where he wouldn't accidentally knock it around.

Why, he wondered as he walked across the hall to the guest bath and turned on the shower, did he remember it clattering? Falling and clattering on Harvey's living room floor.

 _"It may or may not end up configured the way you thought it would but... we're all still here, okay? I'm sure as hell not going anywhere. You_ do _still have a family, Mike."_

_Sentiments so un-Harvey-like pouring out of Harvey's mouth - not just a few, terse words of support but entire sentences of warmth and caring._

_Mike remembered Harvey's hand on his shoulder, Harvey pulling him in - familiar arms wrapping around him; the scent of Harvey's cologne on his shirt and his neck when Mike nestled in, feeling the palm of a hand tracing over his back._

_He remembered lifting his head again and finding Harvey's jaw, his ear so close to his lips and..._

"No, no....NO!" Mike banged the side of a fist against the ceramic tiles – shouting at himself, at life. At his uniquely consistent ability to make very, very bad decisions....

He hadn't been under the shower spray three seconds when it all flooded back at once: The taste of Harvey's skin, and how warm it had felt against his lips and tongue; reaching for an earlobe, and then the speed with which Mike found himself pushed away, the ring falling off his finger and clattering to the floor.

Harvey had looked....what? Not surprised. Not at all. Rueful. His eyes full of …. _hurt?_

Why hurt?

At being _used_ as a tool for comfort by someone stoned, drunk and close to breaking down. Yeah, who the fuck _wouldn't_ be flattered by a needy suck on the neck from that guy?

Mike tried to remember more; what had happened after that, how he’d ended up in the guest room, but …nothing. Just the room spinning, barely keeping his footing after Harvey pushed him away and….nothing.

He hadn't even thought to look to see if Harvey was up – but now he showered fast with one goal; find his shoes and coat and get the hell out before....

The sound of NPR news drifted into the bathroom, a faint clatter of silverware along with it. He smelled toast and oatmeal and.....

Mike hit the taps and dried himself, then his hair. He put the sweats back on, took a deep breath, and headed for the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

Mike had at least three ideas about how he might open the conversation, but when he got to the kitchen what came out of his mouth had nothing to do with any of them.

“Why are you still home? It’s eight in the morning.”

Harvey was standing at the end of the counter - damp from his shower in a Henley and sleep pants, flipping through the paper. His expression was so neutral they could be in his office deciding what to order in for lunch. 

Dammit.

“I used to be late for … physically rewarding reasons,” Harvey said, eyes still down as Mike stopped in front of him. “Very rewarding. Now? It’s because I had to make sure the sodden mess who rolled in last night is alive and not in need of a ride to the hospital.”

Had he been _that_ bad off? Mike was hurting hard, with no ability to remember how he got into bed - naked at that – so maybe Harvey wasn’t exaggerating. He certainly seemed more concerned than angry.

“Did I puke…or anything?”

“Not unless you woke up to unpleasantness. I checked you; made sure you were in the best position for not dying, if you did. Then I went to bed.”

“Did you…undress me?”

“Of course not,” Harvey said eyes flicking up for a second then away – and though the words were terse, his tone was as neutral as his expression. “I got you to the room, then went to dig a pail out from under the sink. When I came back you …uh…. had stripped. I tossed the sheet over you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Harvey’s voice, oddly, got even gentler. “That it happened? Or that you started it?”

“What the hell do you mean?”

“I don’t _mean_ anything. You weren’t specific, and I think it’s a good morning to not make assumptions or jump to conclusions. Would you agree?”

Well, that felt a hell of a lot like a non sequitur – but Mike’s head was starting to throb again, so he let it go.

“Agreed. What I meant is I’m …sorry for showing up in the condition I was in.”

“See, and I’m only sorry you got yourself that way. You’re not planning to take up self-medicating again, are you? You’ve come so far….”

“Of course not. I swear… this was a one time thing.”

“Good.”

“But in my defense… Rachel _left_ me… the worst thing that’s happened to me in….”

“ _Is_ it?” Harvey asked; head tilting, squinting at him. “Is it, _really_?”

Mike felt his mouth pop open.

“Hey!”

“Don’t act so shocked. Not after…”

Here it came. Mike looked around the room at nothing in particular and felt himself blushing, faintly. He also felt a sudden desire to steer the direction this was going.

“You don’t think I ever should have been engaged to her. Do you?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think,” Harvey said, but the way his eyes went dark and his jaw tight answered the question.

“Hell, yes it does. You know it does. All these months, I thought you were happy I was building a life…”

“Stop it. You know damn well there’s nothing I’d like more than to see you build a….”

Mike saw him stop cold - and there was that squint again, more inquisitive than accusatory this time.

“What?” Mike asked.

“I made extra oatmeal,” Harvey turned away to refill his coffee. “You should try to eat.”

“I’m not sure that’s the …best idea.”

“Yeah? When’s the last time you did eat?” He was leaving the kitchen, headed for his room, Mike still rooted in place. “Did you even have dinner last night? Lunch?”

It hit him the answer to both was no, so he sucked it up and walked to the stove. 

“What the hell’s going on with you, Harvey?” he asked, fishing in a drawer for a spoon. “You tried to be supportive last night, and I ….well, you know what I did. You’re not pissed off at me …and you’re acting…weird.”

Mike heard him laugh softly.

“Start with small bites,” Harvey said before he flipped the door to his room shut behind him. “And if you hurl, please hit the sink.”

“By the way,” Mike yelled around the corner as he spooned out some oatmeal. “Where are my clothes?”

~*~

He got an answer when the concierge knocked and returned his things – socks to coat – everything perfectly clean. The bill for a one-hour turnaround on that had to be crazy, but it was nice to know his exit would feel somewhat less like a walk of shame.

Mike put them on the counter and went back to his oatmeal. He’d been in too much pain earlier, remembering his feeble, sloppy attempt at kissing Harvey, to want to dig for any more memories. Sitting here now, though, he felt ready to try: The Advil was kicking in, his head no longer thrumming. His body felt less shaky. His neck…

“What the…” Mike set down the spoon; reached fingers to touch the muscle running from under his ear along his neck, pressing in gently. “…. _hell_?”

A bruise, and not a small one; Mike pressed it again, felt a bittersweet tenderness radiating from it as it all flooded back…

_“Mike, no.. stop, c’mon…” Harvey batting him away with his forearms three, four times like it was martial arts practice night…. “Don’t make me…”_

_“Make you what?”_

_Mike remembered stepping in toward him again and again, stumbling, reaching up with his mouth, his eyes asking for Harvey’s eyes and his mouth over and over. Harvey had steered him back a step at a time until Mike’s head and ass met the hallway wall and…._

_Harvey gave in - dove in; a hand tugging Mike’s hair to tilt his head, Harvey kissing his mouth open. Mike remembered groaning out a low, long sound – getting hands on Harvey’s hips to pull them together as the kiss turned to a strong, deep tongue-fucking. The wet, sucking sounds and the stroking he was getting made Mike’s intoxicated cock harden against all odds…enough that Harvey apparently felt it: He was groaning into Mike’s mouth, too, hips grinding Mike’s ass into the plaster. Then the kiss got broken and Mike remembered gasping ‘yes’ repeatedly at the electric shock of teeth latching onto his neck.  
_

“Oh …my fucking _God_!” 

Mike was at Harvey’s door, rattling the doorknob, but Harvey had the foresight to lock it.

“The light dawns,” Mike heard from the other side. 

“You _kissed_ me! You worked me over.”

“I know it was wrong. If it’s any consolation…you tasted horrible,” Harvey said, the door popping open a mere crack – enough for Mike to see one eye looking at him. “But in my defense…. something I’d wanted for a long time was coming at me like a horny octopus, so… yes. I did.”

Mike heard the sound of a shirt being tucked into pants, then the rasp of a zipper closing. There was a pause, and then the door popped fully open- Harvey walking out with a vest over one arm. 

“You weren’t even going to tell me.”

“I thought you might remember, but…. when you didn’t… You have a lot you need to figure out,” Harvey slid on the vest, buttoning. “You don’t even know if this breakup will really take. Do you?”

“Trust me, I was there. It’s over.”

“Then you’re even freer than you were yesterday. You can go anywhere, do anything…..”

“Are you seriously…changing the subject? Don’t you think you’re glossing over something pretty…”

“It was a kiss, Mike,” Harvey walked back toward his room and Mike followed, watched him sliding in his jacket, patting his pants pocket to check that he had his wallet. “It doesn’t mean I’m any more capable of being what you need than I was yesterday.”

“You’ve come a long way, too, you know? I think you’re underestimating yourself.”

Harvey was putting on his watch and he stopped a beat, shaking his head ever so slightly. The soft smile that crossed his lips, his eyes made Mike’s breath catch.

“Funny, you saying that to me. Funny _anyone_ saying that to me…..”

There was a hell of a lot more he wanted to say – or at least ask. But Mike felt it; the moment was passing for now. If he pushed…. Harvey would retreat.

“Is there anything else I missed?” Mike heard the resignation in his own voice. “Did I run streaking through your building? Do anything the security cams might have caught?”

“No. After I came to my senses I apologized to you and asked if you were okay. You muttered something about needing to lay down…and you collapsed in my arms. Lucky I didn’t drop you. You went down like a brick wall.”

Mike nodded and looked at him and saw it for the first time this morning – the circles under those eyes. Harvey didn’t tuck him in and go to bed. Harvey had sat up watching over him all night; a lot of available hours for building back up his own brick wall, and clearly he had.

“I’ll be okay, now,” Mike told him. “Go to work.”

“I have to,” Harvey said. “As much fun as the last nine hours have been…and they really haven’t… I’ll miss court if I don’t. If you need more sleep….food…”

“I’m going to take you up on that,” Mike said. “Then I’m going to look for an apartment.”

“Call me later this week? Let me know how it’s going?”

Harvey grabbed his keys from the counter and headed for the door. Mike resisted the urge to walk along with him.

“Yeah. I will. Thanks.”

“Hey, Mike?” Harvey was halfway out when he stopped. “The offer ….uh, the work offer, it still stands. You know that, right?”

“Yes.”

“I meant what I said last night – I’m not going anywhere. I hope you don’t, either.”

“Whatever I decide? You’ll be the first to know,” Mike said. 

Then Harvey was gone; the door clicked shut and it felt so strange, standing there in his home all alone. 

Nope. Not alone, he reminded his inner voice. Just by himself – at the moment.

He finished breakfast, put away the dishes and headed back to the guest room. 

Sliding into the bed felt like heaven. A few more hours and he’d be ready; for decisions and next steps. Mike settled in; fingers tracing over the bruise, and pressing. Feeling his own steady pulse underneath it.

Everything would get sorted out. He wasn’t sure how- but he knew that much, now. 

Everything would be okay.


	3. Chapter 3

Mike spotted Harvey first on that Friday morning; twenty yards away, standing next to a food cart on the corner where they'd agreed to meet up and grab a coffee. 

"Hey, sailor," he walked up behind him, giving Harvey a nudge and holding out a jellybean covered palm. "Want some sugar? The first taste is free."

It got him a full on eye-roll, but also a smile. Harvey looked them over like he was considering whether or not to indulge.

"Where the hell did you get those?" 

"Shop near my place. They're grownup flavors. Try the blue one."

"Huh," Harvey shrugged as he chewed and they walked. "Not bad. Very blueberry. Nicely tart."

"Now try the brown one."

Mike watched him pop it in his mouth; could tell from the immediate scowl that it wasn't a hit.

"Okay...that's...just _crap_."

"It's bacon."

"No...it's bacon-flavored crap," Harvey snapped his fingers in the general direction of the bag of candy in Mike's hand. "Make it go away."

"Okay, here… try this. It's ginger. Really good."

Harvey bit it and made a 'much better’ face, and they fell into a comfortable silence for a half a block as they crossed the avenue toward their destinations.

"Louis and I have at least five interviews lined up for today" Harvey said eventually. "It's hell, but...hopefully we'll get a pleasant surprise one of these mornings."

"You will," Mike assured him. "You never saw me coming. Did you?"

"You were a once in a lifetime surprise," Harvey said.

Mike felt his heart rise at the look he was getting - the combination of pride and affection and a hint of something more that suggested Harvey would always see 'trouble' of the very best kind when he laid eyes on him.

"Want some more?" Mike asked, holding out the bag. 

"No, thanks. Trying to keep the carbs down. I have a hot dinner date tonight."

"Yeah?"

"Between us... I'm pretty sure I'm getting laid."

"Yeah, but... you always go in thinking you're getting lucky," Mike said. "Don't you?"

"This one's a sure thing," Harvey said, finishing his coffee. "Putty in my hands."

"Overconfident and under-confident are equally repelling," Mike warned. "Check yourself, Romeo."

"Check myself, " Harvey scoffed, heading toward the doors to Pearson Specter Litt as Mike kept on his way down the street. " _You_ check _your_ self."

"That ....doesn't even make sense," Mike gave him a wave. "See ya."

"See you later," Harvey winked, and was gone.

 

-*-

Once Mike had found his feet again - post-prison and post-engagement – he was surprised to find that the most complicated thing between Harvey and him wasn't what he'd expected at all. Sorting out the personal stuff? Feeling their way along as to what they were to one another? It was about finding the nerve to really talk their way through it. Not to say that was ever easy... or always pretty.

_"You're afraid to try," Mike had told him. "Admit it... I scare you. What you want from me scares you."_

_They were in Harvey's office, late - the only place Harvey would see him after that very bad night and most likely only because he hoped Mike had shown up to take his job offer._

_"Are you kidding me?" Harvey had stepped in at him; rising up to tower over him, eyes flicking over Mike's mouth and eyes until Mike was backing up a step. "M'not afraid of you, rookie. Not even a little, and not in any context."_

_"Then ...why? Why won't you?"_

_"Because you took what's been there between us almost forever, and you used it like a tool," Harvey had informed him - not shouting it; voice very controlled and cutting and somehow that was way worse. "What you did wasn't about being with me, you were..... pacifying yourself. And that's no way to start something. Is it?"_

Mike remembered how ready he’d been to blow up at him - to deny every word, but then he realized he'd better walk, instead, and think about it because maybe Harvey was right.

_I know how we need to start.... Mike had texted him a week later._

_It was the longest they'd gone without talking, and that had felt awful._

_‘How?’ Harvey texted back. 'If we're not working together, then how?'_

_You're taking me out on Thursday, Mike had keyed in. Then he held his breath and waited five excruciating minutes for the reply._

_"Lucky boy" the screen read, and Mike felt almost dizzy with relief. "8pm. I'll send you the address."_

No, the hard part wasn't 'them,' -- it ended up being about work and career goals, and what Harvey was stubbornly convinced Mike should be doing with his.

 

-*-

"That restaurant's a real find," Mike said, sliding into the cab.

"Not bad, huh?" Harvey settled into his seat, shutting the door, a hand finding Mike's thigh and running over it mindlessly.

“So I take it you're pissed at me?” Mike asked.

Things had been good, but tonight there was something heavy between them again - hovering over the table the whole evening - and while neither of them let it ruin their meal Mike wasn't letting it hang around any longer.

“I’m not…pissed,” Harvey said. “I haven’t been pissed at you …at all...in quite some time.”

“Could have fooled me,” Mike looked out his window, then back at him. “C’mon, Harvey. Talk."

“All right: I'm frustrated because I shouldn't have wasted my very valuable hours today interviewing people we'll never hire,” Harvey said. "I should have been working with you."

“There it is," Mike set a hand on the one still firmly by his knee. "Was that so hard?"

"You still have time," Harvey said it like he'd been planning on broaching this all afternoon. "You're within the probationary period in your new job. Tell them you made a mistake. Quit...and come back."

"No, Harvey...dammit, you're not taking me seriously. I told you... I need to earn it! Before I can come back and work with you, I need to earn the right. Working with the Legal Aid Society….”

“Is working in the trenches. Great cause, yes, but Mike it’s so far….”

“Beneath me?” Mike almost barked the question, then looked out the window to cool off; even he could hear his words were a challenge - daring Harvey to look down on his efforts. “Please...it's not below me. Not much is, right now.”

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I miss working with you,” Harvey said, something gentle and open in his voice that Mike was still getting used to hearing. "Don't get me wrong... I'm still kicking ass. I'll always kick ass. But it's not as much fun, you know? Now that I don't have you."

“What are you talking about? You’ve got me. My new apartment is twenty blocks from yours. My office is walking distance from the firm; we meet for lunch, for coffee... we text each other all day," Mike turned toward him to ask for his eyes, his full attention. "Hell, I’ll be at your place half my nights if you want me there. I practically am already, anyway….”

It was Harvey’s turn to look out the window – but when he turned back, Mike couldn’t help but smile. There was a whole lot of ‘you damn well better be’ on that face.

-*-

They already had a routine when they went back to Harvey's; music got played, and some time was spent talking on the sofa. Tonight, there hadn't been any of that - both of them a little beat up by the day and the conversation in the car. 

"You taste sweet," Harvey told him between the lightest of kisses, tugging Mike's shirt tails free and working open the lowest buttons. "Been at those jelly beans all day?"

They were standing in Harvey's entirely dark living room; only the lights from outside to see by, and silence except for the sounds of them pulling each other's clothes apart.

"Nope," Mike delved a little deeper with his tongue; enjoying the surprised sound it got him. "My after-dinner drink. Sambuca. Like it?"

"Uh-huh...." Harvey stood still to let Mike undo his tie; a ritual Mike enjoyed thoroughly. "No marks, puppy...you hear me?"

Screw that, Mike thought; kissing over Harvey's jaw, his mouth moving to find that spot on Harvey's neck - the first place he'd ever tasted him. Blame it on the cologne or the pulse against his lips, but...Mike couldn't not suck and nip right there. Harvey was sporting a purple rosebud most of the time, lately.

"You love it," Mike said against his skin when Harvey made a sound both frustrated and turned on. "So… who's putty, now?"

"Whatever…" Harvey got him by the wrist and pulled him toward his room. "All I know is I was right: I'm getting laid tonight."

"Don't gloat...." Mike went with, surprising him with a sharp smack to the ass on the way, grinning when Harvey jumped. "Or I won't let you blow me, first."

Harvey's laugh was full of a dark mirth that said he knew precisely how low the odds of that were.

-*-

"Are you awake?" Mike asked.

Harvey roused enough to roll over; to throw an arm over Mike and pull him into a spoon, but no answer, so ...no, he wasn't awake. Dammit.

It was five a.m. and Mike had woken feeling restless - confused, for a second, at being in this bed and not in the guest room; at how much had changed in a few weeks. And then it had hit him - a wave of relief and certainty so strong he’d had to blink back tears.

He wanted to tell Harvey about it; that he was sure, now, they'd be okay. Mike would earn his career and come back to the firm - and they wouldn't be apart for a week ever again.

Not easy to keep that to yourself when it hits you, but Harvey was out and it felt good the way they were lying, so he settled in.

He'd tell him in the morning. There'd be time then. 

There would be time for absolutely everything.


End file.
